22336. San Fernando blvd
Los Angeles, CA 91201
February 10, 2009
Tommy Landlady
Rent payment refund
11778 East Hale Ave
Los Angeles, CA 91221
Dear Tommy Landlady:
I am a former tenant who lived at 11778 East Hale Ave, Los Angeles, CA 91201 as of January 28, 2009 and moved out 22336. San Fernando blvd, Los Angeles, CA 91106. This letter is to notify you about a problem I am having with you that I should be receiving rent payment and security deposit on January 28, 2009.
Today I received bill from you, but I do not agree with your decision because you refused pay buck my February rent payment and security deposit why you are withholding my $600 of my deposit and my February rent payment, even though I gave you a formal 30-day written notice. I also have a few items that I question about.
1. You charged me $1000 to fees when my friends visited my room, even though these charges are not mentioned our original Lease Agreement.
2. You charged me $50 to clean the carpet. I believe that when I left the carpet clean and should not be charged again and it is normal wear and tear.
3. I also do not agree with $80 charge for the fixing the room door because I have never broken the door. When the door was fixed, you did not tell and ask me anything about bill.
Unfortunately, the problems remain unresolved. I would like to resolve these problems quickly. I am willing to solve through the Housing Office. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
Sincerely.
Rita Tenant
I spent time to write it more than 2hours.
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CONTENT
ReplyDeleteFirst off, overall, I think that you did a good job. There are some mistakes. There are also some parts that I don’t understand well, but that may be OK because the main audience is your former landlady, and she may know what you’re referring to. Nevertheless, here are some of the things that I had trouble with:
1. Use the spell check: haveing, quiestion, thorugh, Housieng
2. “Tommy Landlady”; “Dear Tommy Landlady”: Is this a pseudonym? If not, write the landlady’s last name — not “Landlady.” “Landlady” is a title (the name of a “job”), and you can place that under her name. In addition, if it isn’t a pseudonym, is “Tommy” the right name? That sounds like a man’s name. Is her name “Tammy”?
3. “I am a former tenant who lived at 11778 East Hale Ave, Los Angeles, CA 91201 as of January 28, 2009 and moved out 22336”: Do you mean, ““I am a former tenant who lived at 11778 East Hale Ave, Los Angeles, CA 91201 [until] January 28, 2009”?
4. “Today I received bill from you, but I do not agree with your decision because you refused pay [back] my February rent payment and security deposit why you are withholding my $600 of my deposit and my February rent payment, even though I gave you a formal 30-day written notice.” Break this up into sentences.
5. “I am willing to solve thorugh the Housieng Office.” What is “the Housieng Office”?
COHESIVENESS
I think that once the problems in content and grammar are taken care of, the cohesiveness will be fine.
GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY
We will fix the grammar and vocabulary when we go over the students’ last assignment(s) in class.
Thank you for giving me some acvice.
ReplyDeleteI have bad habit, even though I checked spells, I could not notice that I have had spell miss.
2."Tommy Landlady" is pseudonym because I did not want to put real name.
3. Yes I lived in 11778 East Hale Ave, Los Angeles, CA 91201 [until] January 28, 2009. However, this address is also not real.
5. The Hoesing Office is organization for people who have problem with landload or tenant.